Tim Tebow to model his Christ cock

March 28, 2011 § 2 Comments

SF Gate (via the Houston Chronicle with a little help from ESPN) is talking up Denver Bronco’s Christian football VIRGIN and his plans during the (perhaps extended) off-season:  he will be an underwear model!

But don’t get excited…this is NOT going to be dirty. Tebow is a reformed evangelical christian virgin heterosexual man man man that wears a glove when he pees to avoid making contact with his dirty satanic dinger!! This photo shoot will be tasty…um tasteful!

Tebow

Topless for Jesus

Like everything in his life ” …Tebow’s underwear choices are more sports-related than sex-related…” and he will help Jockey promote their ball hugging undergarments that also provide a ventilation for his over heated and delicately furry man cave.

Nothing Tebow does is at all sex related.  I’m sure he keeps a little penile tampon lodged inside his urethra to discourage those pesky boners that inevitably interrupt his day – especially when he is pulling on and peeling off his sports-related panties.

Or maybe he just prays away the throbbing….”oh dear gawd – keep the jizz inside me or at least don’t let anyone know when it gets out. That would ruin everything.”

What ever works, Tim.  I get it…you gotta keep the lights on…virginity SELLS!

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