Santorum: “Your abortion ruined everything!”

March 29, 2011 § 1 Comment

Rick Santorum said in a radio interview today that not enough children are being born in the United States to support the Social Security system. If people would stop constantly aborting children left and right – day in and day out – 24/7 – on every street corner and shopping mall in this great nation of ours – we could all collect Social Security upon retiring.

santorum

It's all YOUR fault!

Ricky believes that the Social Security Administration (which has been around for 75 years) is going to collapse because people aren’t squeezing out enough puppies and putting them to work. Mabye those Obama death panels aren’t such a bad idea. Is the problem that not enough children are being born or is it that not enough people are dying?

Mr. Santorum – who wants to run for President in 2012 – also said while grinning and massaging his aching boner: “We have seven children, so we’re doing our part to fund the Social Security system.” And then he emitted a silent but highly sulphuric fart…the kind his wife likes to smell after he ejaculates.

At the end of the interview, our future President pulled the photograph of his miscarried son out of his pocket, licked it, and called his boy a “slacker.”

I made most of this up.  But not all of it.

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