Tim Tebow’s balls will be cooler in Jockey underpants

March 30, 2011 § Leave a comment

The Sun Sentinel has a sneak preview of the ad featuring Christian virgin football player Tim Tebow.

According to the Sun Sentinel: “Jockey is the first U.S. company to offer underwear treated with Outlast technology with the launch of Jockey staycool.” Just the kind of fabric a jock needs around his nards.

Tebow

Timmy Te-boner

This technology was originally developed for NASA.  The fabric helps absorb, store and release heat in order to “maintain optimal skin temperature.”

Heat seaking and releasing technology comes in very handy to young virile men that never – EVER – ejaculate because that would be wasteful and ungawdlike. Only the devil and his followers allow semen to discharge willy-nilly.

Timmy is saving his man juice for his future wife who will probably drown. She will undoubtedly end up in heaven, though.

(Big thanks to my Twitter pal queengasoline aka AnastasiaBeaverhausn for the tip!)

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