TV star / Catholic Priest cornholes his cousin!

April 6, 2011 § 2 Comments

A Roman Catholic priest (and television star) revealed today (under duress) that he used to exchange body fluids with his cousin.

This is certainly a breech of his celebacy – and the Pope will personally slap Rev Michael Manning’s wiener for breaking that rule (hardy har har) – but right now Pope Brownshirt is busy thanking gawd that Rev. Manning’s cousin is a woman!

I'm so embarrassed

Rev Manning and his cousin


Added bonus:  it was consensual! 

You never can tell with these priests.  If they aren’t molesting a teenage boy they might be fucking their own cousin. 

From SFGate: “‘We’ve been such good friends and there’s a deep love we have for each other,’ Manning said. ‘The sexuality was secondary. It’s very hard when you care for someone, but I love my priesthood more. I admit the fact of my sinfulness. I’ve done wrong. That’s why I’ve stopped.'”

Translation: “She got kinda fat and the head wasn’t that great.”

You have to learn to read between the lines when interpreting Catholic-speak.  They often suggest that their followers do as they say, not as they do. 

In rebuttal, Rev. Manning’s rejected lover/cousin said:

“Father Mike Manning is a very dear and close friend of mine,” she said. “Our friendship has grown over 30 years, and we share a deep commitment of faithful and dedicated life of service in our respective work. I have nothing more to publicly say about this personal and private matter.”

Translation: “I couldn’t stand listening to him cry everytime he ejaculated. And he always wanted anal. What aren’t there altar boys at his church?”

Expect the 70 yr old priest to cry and dig at his holes on television as he begs for forgiveness and donations to his non-profit shame factory.


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