Jonathan Weaver tied up & gagged his gf’s toddlers so he could watch ball game; gets 2 yrs

May 26, 2011 § Leave a comment

Almost exactly 2 years ago, Jonathan Weaver was babysitting his girlfriend’s two young boys while she attended a class at night school, but he had a dilemma.

It was June 2009. The NBA finals were being televised. His buddies were getting together to watch the game. His girlfriend’s two boys (a one year old and a two year old) probably weren’t potty trained. What’s a 20-yr-old guy gonna do?

Jonathan Weaver

Loves basketball

Mr. Weaver had a great (and terrible) idea: he took the two toddlers to the garage, tied them to their car seats, gagged and hooded them and then went to watch the game with his bros.

Those aren’t his kids anyway, right? Bros before ‘ho’s!

The girlfriend, Amy Beltran, was pregnant with seed from Mr. Weaver’s bugling nut sack (probably larger than his brain) at the time of the incident.

Young Mr. Weaver has been sentenced to up to six years after pleading guilty to child abuse. He has been in prison for two years already so he may be released and placed on parole shortly. He says he is sorry.

So sorry. He’s been told that mistakes are part of being young. But that don’t right the wrong that’s been done.

Sure, he was only twenty years old and maybe the two teams involved in the 2009 NBA playoffs didn’t include his home team (Los Angeles v Orlando) but you’ve gotta cut the guy a break – he’s heterosexual! Heterosexuals need more leeway in their practice of parenting and adulthood and relationship recognition. They don’t have to worry about upholding tradition and the sanctity of penis/vagina relations and 5,000 of recorded history.

That higher moral threshold is reserved for same-sex couples to obey.

Nevada has a constitutional amendment that defines marriage as being exclusive of same-sex couples. But the state passed Domestic Partnership legislation – overriding sex scandal plagued Governor Jim Gibbon’s veto – in 2009.

The DP law – akin to a “colored only” drinking fountain law – has many of the same privileges as legal marriage does in the state of Nevada, with a few exceptions: public agencies/employers are not obligated to extend health insurance coverage to the partners of faggots and applicants must be at least 18 years old.

With the consent of a parent, a 16-yr-old can be legally married in Nevada.

Basketball shorts

Who could blame Jonathan for wanting to watch this?

We have to make queers wait a few extra years to have their red-haired-step-child legal recognitions because they need to think a little bit harder about entering into a commitment that may deprive them of full privileges.

Legal marriage is reserved for heterosexual men that impregnate their girlfriend and then tie up, gag and abandon her two out-of-wedlock other offspring before watching a gaggle of grown men run around after a ball with testicles bouncing around loose in their baggy gym shorts.

Some privileges are granted by gawd, you know.


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