SPECIAL REPORT: Shadowy San Francisco Heteros Bully Harvey Milk Club Gays

Unidentified heterosexuals – potentially including leadership of local progressive political clubs – have been called out by a member of the Harvey Milk Democratic Club Executive Board. The anonymous party has been told “…you don’t get to attack, undermine and bully queer people if we disagree with you” by Nate Albee via a post to his Facebook wall on Saturday, July 25.

We don’t know who these people are, what (if any) club they are from, or anything that was said to incite this outburst.

Read the statement in full (here).

This new level of drama was reached following a rough week for the Harvey Milk Club. Endorsement season for the fall election has begun and while most of the items expected on the ballot this fall are rather cut and dried in terms of Milk Club ideology, there was one matter that was a major sticking point: whether or not to endorse the re-election of Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi.

Eliana Lopez, San Francisco Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi and doyenne of the San Francisco left Jane Morrison

The endorsement process began with a day of vetting pros/cons at a meeting of the Milk Club PAC. That meeting was held on Saturday, July 18. Some people (me) declined to participate during that day-long slog. As a result, Sheriff Mirkarimi was reportedly either 1 or 2 votes short of having enough to meet the threshold for endorsement causing the PAC to recommended to the membership that there was no need to endorse the re-election of Sheriff Mirkarimi. That’s when the diarrhea began.

Disgruntled participants in the PAC process began posting on Facebook that the Club had abandoned its principles by not supporting Mirkarimi. Gossip was spread stating that the Exec Board was concerned about the effect of including the pariah of San Francisco politics (Mirkarimi) on their slate card for the Fall ’15 election. No one has ever confirmed that sentiment, but there was one denial.

During the days that followed the PAC meeting, I reached out to former Milk Club co-president and current candidate for CCSF Board of Trustees, Tom Temprano. I asked him if he was concerned about sharing a slate card with the Sheriff and he denied that was the case. He said “It has nothing to do with my race.” Temprano has other reasons to oppose an endorsement and those reasons sound very similar to what current co-president of the Milk Club, Peter Gallotta, said to the Bay Area Reporter on July 23rd:

“There are very real concerns from our members about some of the sheriff’s positions including his views on building a new jail, which the club does not support. Many members are standing in solidarity with TAJA’s Coalition and trans women of color in San Francisco who are leading the fight against the new jail,” stated Gallotta. “It has been disappointing to hear that many of our longtime members felt unsafe speaking up about their concerns with the sheriff at last night’s meeting and are now being disparaged by straight people outside of the club who do not understand the legitimate concerns that queer progressives have on this issue.”

Pay special attention to the third sentence. That was the first mention of shadowy “straight people” disparaging Milk Club gays. Two days after that quote in the B.A.R. Nate Albee said on Facebook that his “…beautiful queers are afraid to speak up and defend themselves.” What is going on? Should I be concerned about being bullied? I posted a question in the comments on Nate’s screed:

No one has replied to that question or others that have been raised.

Isn’t it the purpose of a political club to debate among members until a consensus is agreed upon? There was debate (apparently) at the PAC meeting and there should have been even MORE dialogue at the membership meeting. Debate is healthy for democracy, right? Instead of debate there is a growing chorus of defensive outbursts from the Executive Board that doesn’t fit well with facts.

The rationale expressed by Peter and more or less by Tom are debunked in an article posted on 48 Hills on Tuesday, July 21 written by the club’s guardian angel Tim Redmond. Furthermore, it was also reported that at the pivotal PAC meeting, Mirkarimi’s opponent, Vicki Hennessy, made a COLOSSAL error of eye-rolling proportions when she spoke of categorizing inmate populations by genitalia. If Mirkarimi supposedly has problems dealing with trans inmates how does he compare to genital Jane?

Believe it or not there’s even MORE to be explored about the gay political melodrama of the summer that isn’t addressed in this controversy. For example, there’s the story of Mahnani Clay, the once (and former?) VP of Political Affairs and Chair of the Milk Club PAC who was asked to step aside from her role when she began volunteering for Sheriff Mirkarimi’s re-election campaign. Was there something unjust about that request or was the concern about potential conflict of interest handled poorly?

Hopefully there will be some answers forthcoming. If the Milk Club is under attack from a group of shadowy heterosexual thugs shouldn’t we all know about it? Why is there so much intrigue over endorsements for a ballot that is relatively uncontroversial?

LGBT San Francisco News: Pink Saturday On Life Support! SF Pride to the rescue?

The fact that the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence have officially filed for divorce from the arranged marriage it had with Pink Saturday should not be terribly surprising. It might have been necessary to arrange an intervention if The Sisters didn’t break up with Pink Saturday. Their relationship had become abusive.

One of the sisters was harassed and beaten during Pink Saturday last year.

That’s it, ok? THEY ARE DONE!

The LAST leaflet for Pink Saturday produced by The Sisters

Now we wait to see what Scott Wiener will come up with since this hot potato / political opportunity has been tossed into his lengthy lap. There had to have been dozens of breathy phone calls made this weekend regarding the future of Pink Saturday.

Hundreds of thousands of people come to San Francisco every June to spend money in celebration of LGBT Pride. This year is anticipated to draw a larger than average crowd because of a (mostly anti-climactic) US Supreme Court decision expected at the same time. .

My guess is that the SF Pride Board is under pressure to help Scott Wiener come up with a solution to the Pink Saturday question.

The SF Pride Board is already deeply immersed in planning their HUGE, all consuming. understaffed and perennially underfunded two day party. What organization is in a better place to take over this monstrous task than SF Pride?

They have experience and skills and a history of throwing successful parties on an enormous scale. They have been working with the city for years seeking support on issues that have plagued the Pride Parade. At the same time, how can SF Pride be expected to assume the burden of planning ANOTHER party – one that happens in the middle of their two day transdykehomopalooza – with a four month lead?

One solution we know we can count on hearing more about is corporate sponsorship.

Any assistance that the city can come up with at this point will have to be centered around money. If the Pride Board takes on this task they will need money. In fact, they should demand money. Lots of money.

The City of San Francisco has granted a paltry $64,200 to SF LGBT Pride Celebration Committee for 2014/2015. That’s embarrassing considering how much money has been added to the coffers in SF every June for years…for decades…as the LGBT Pride event has ballooned into the largest such event in the entire country.

San Francisco needs a well produced weekend at the end of June. The city needs the tourist money and it needs the positive press generated from hosting a successful event. What is the city willing to contribute to help keep Pride successful? How much did the city give America’s Cup? How much will the city pay to host Super Bowl 50?

Last year during secret negotiations with the city, the Pride Board was given what amounted to an ultimatum: take sponsorship from AirBnB or forget any additional assistance. The SF Pride Board accepted the offer causing many supporters to choke back vomit at the idea of using AirBnB funds to throw a party honoring tenants rights activist Tommi Avicoli Mecca as a Grand Marshal. Was there a choice? Not really.

Wiener in hair net

Will Scott Wiener, the Supervisor of District 8 (that includes the Castro neighborhood) advocate for emergency funds from the city or will he rely upon friends of the administration to provide needed resources?

There isn’t much time to waste. In the coming weeks, Supervisor Wiener will need to hustle to come up with a plan. The privatization of Pink Saturday is a likely outcome as sponsors (AirBnB, Uber, Ron Conway et al) are undoubtedly stifling erections waiting for phones to ring. Sponsorship of Pink Saturday is an excellent way to advertise to a captive audience – many from abroad – and make a goodwill gesture to San Franciscans weary of destructive public events that are also wary of privatization that is increasingly encroaching upon public space in the city.

It’s time to start working on the gag reflex again.

SF Archbishop Cordileone to Monitor Teaching Staff for Evidence of Masturbation

Life of the party!

San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone gets lonely sometimes.

Even though he’s the Grand Wizard of the local Catholic Supremacist Society in San Francisco he sometimes runs out of paperwork to do…or things to staple…or bingo games to call…etc. Who knows what an Archbishop does from day to day besides feeding the poor and checking in on the ill and elderly? There have to be slow days. Every job has them.

Plus, now that the whole Jesus Birthday season is over the Catholics-In-Charge must be experiencing a loss. Things were so busy for weeks and then BAM it’s December 26. Welcome to afterglow, Sal. You’ve climaxed and finished your cigarette and taken a pee…what now? Feeling peckish? Might be a good time to pick on some little girls!

Last week, Fr. Jospehy Illio from Star of the Sea church in San Francisco decided that he was no longer interested in allowing girls to act as altar servers. Illio has been on the job for 6 months. Girls had been serving at the altar for decades. What he says goes!! Maybe the holy spirit came to him in the middle of the night and told him to axe the chicks – or did the spirit visit the guy in charge when girls were first allowed to serve? Is gawd fickle? The mean spirited action against girls must have been too easy because this week there’s more Catholic peevishness.

This week the Archbishop of San Francisco announced the diocese will issue updated language in a handbook distributed to faculty at the four Catholic high schools. Beginning in August 2015, teachers are expected to avoid “gravely evil” behaviors in their professional and private lives. No reproductive technology! No homo! No sex outside of marriage! No masturbation! Archbishop Sal Cordileone isn’t having it!

There are ways to find out about breeches of most of these rules but nothing specific was mentioned about how anyone in the Archdiocese will know whether or not teachers have been masturbating. Will Cordileone be conducting inspections? Will he sniff the hands of each teacher to detect the scent of jizz? Maybe there is a way to monitor employees at home when temptation might be difficult to resist.

Perhaps the diocese should purchase electronic ankle monitor bracelets for teachers to wear.

Orgasm detectors!!

If repetitious motions are accompanied by a change in heart rate the GRAVELY EVIL alarm will sound and a crucifix will illuminate in the night sky like a Batman signal calling Sal Cordileone into action. A true catholic superhero will swoop in to conduct some coitus interruptus!!

It’s unfortunate catholics feel they must find ways to impose their beliefs on anyone – especially people that have to some extent agreed to be associated with their faith. What happened to the notion of atonement for sin? What good is the act of contrition if punishment is meted out ahead of the sin?

Better question: Why can’t SF Archbishop Sal Cordileone find something uplifting to do with his spare time besides drink too much and be a crab?

He’s certainly not making the priesthood sound like inspirational, soul enriching work.

San Francisco Pride Board of Directors: Channel Your Inner Bradley Manning

Dear San Francisco Pride Board of Directors:

Can we talk?

First, I want to thank you for hanging out on Friday night (May 31) at MCC in the Castro. That was fun. Yeah there were a few moments of pique but 2 out of three hours were good times! It’s been too long. Let’s do it again soon!

Second, I’m not sure how you will resolve the situation created by overturning the election of Bradley Manning as a Grand Marshal of the 2013 Pride celebration, but I do have an idea about how you can handle the bad press and bad feelings that have spiked in the past month.

Grand Marshal of San Francisco Pride

If you want to get off the hot seat please consider taking a page out of the Bradley Manning playbook and become a whistle blower. Reveal to the public the REAL STORY  behind the controversial election of Manning as Grand Marshal. How did this became such a big problem? Shed some light on the origins of your dilemma.

Let’s face it – the risk you expose yourselves to by blowing the whistle is nothing compared to the risk Pvt. Manning took. You will not be tortured, stripped of clothing, held in solitary confinement and imprisoned for life or even sentenced to death.

In fact, I’d be surprised if you experience any real repercussions…but then again I don’t know what obstacles to honesty you face since you won’t talk about it.

We know that you didn’t have a problem with Manning as a nominee back in April. The extensive bios of the four nominees were listed on a this web page (click here) and there didn’t seem to be any hesitation about him being a viable option.

Aren’t you kind of embarrassed that you fired (scapegoated?) somebody for announcing Manning’s election but nobody is being punished for allowing the nomination to exist for an ENTIRE MONTH before it was a problem?

Plus, I don’t think it would be drawing too many conclusions to say that you don’t really give a shit about Bradley Manning. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not calling you inhuman monsters. I don’t think you are murderers (like someone said the other night), but like WAAAAAY too many members of the queer community in San Francisco, you just don’t want politics to complicate your lives.

Your ambivalence was written all over your faces Friday night. Neither Lisa Williams nor Earl Plante could muster the strength to exert a facial muscle for three hours.

Deeply concerned President and CEO of San Francisco Pride

Were you on quaaludes (if so, can I have some)? Did you have other plans that night that got cancelled so you could sit in an over heated church to get yelled at? Maybe you were planning your outfit for the next fancy Pride fund raising event featuring a B list reality television star.

Or maybe you just want this problem to go away. You can make this someone else’s problem by answering a few questions.

What went on in SF Pride headquarters between April 25 and April 26? Nominations for Grand Marshal had been active for weeks. Votes were due on Monday, April 22. It just doesn’t make sense that suddenly on Thursday, April 25, after collection / tabulation of votes and press releases announcing winners were issued you collectively woke up from a coma and realized that Manning didn’t meet the requirements of a nominee and you found yourselves shocked and awed at the miracle that unexpectedly occurred: Bradley Manning was chosen!!

And as Judge Judy says: “If it doesn’t make sense, it’s not true.”

Don’t fuck with Judy.

You don’t care enough about Bradley Manning to be in this situation.

Tell us who does care enough to pressure you into overturning his election as Grand Marshal.

I’m not talking about a corporate sponsor. They didn’t have enough time to know there was a GM election, let alone who won it, and I would find it equally hard to believe that Wells Fargo et al care about Bradley Manning any more than you do.

Did a local political leader or community organization or someone connected to you or Pride (politically or otherwise) raise enough of a fuss that you chose to ensure their satisfaction over your own?

Who could that be?

Tell us.

Courage!

Patrick Connors, Uppityfag

Richmond Phillips (heterosexual adulterer) GUILTY of Murdering Mistress and Out Of Wedlock Child

HOW CAN THIS BE?!?!?!

Heterosexual men that have sex with – and legally marry – heterosexual women are doing the work of gawd! This is what all of America’s laws and the US constitution and recorded history are all about.

This is why we can’t allow same-sex couples to be recognized. Allowing legal same-sex marriage would be a slap in the face of gawdy gawd gawd. What would the churches do if gays were made legal? Think about the Pope for once!!

And the children…what about the children???

Children need a mother and a father and allowing gay couples to marry would deprive them of the privilege that is provided to all gawd fearing, upstanding, moral, penis/vagina praising people.

Just ask Jaylin Wright, the 11-month old daughter of Wynetta Wright. She might be too young to answer, so ask her mother about how same-sex marriage would harm her.

The only problem is that both Wynetta and Jaylin are dead. They were killed by Richmond Phillips – Wynetta’s lover and Jaylin’s father. Richmond was found guilty of two counts of first degree murder today in Washington DC.

Mr. Phillips was a DC Police Office and married man who had an affair with Wynetta Wright. Eventually Ms. Wright ended up pregnant and that was not part of Mr. Phillips’ vision of his future.

Hours before the was to take a paternity test to prove he was the father, he shot and killed his mistress and then drove her car – with his 11 month old daughter inside – to a nearby apartment complex. He then abandoned the car with the baby inside.

Days later “Jaylin’s body was found in her mother’s car, which was parked up the road, it’s doors closed and its windows rolled up.”

Phillips did not want to acknowledge his child or pay her child support.

Which takes us back to the original point: America can’t possibly allow same-sex couples to marry because even though there is no evidence that gay couples harm anyone – and there is daily evidence of the harm heterosexual couples enact upon each other and their children – it just doesn’t make sense. Gays make the Pope sad. We can’t have that.

Keep in mind: Mr. Phillips (who may spend the rest of his life in prison) is not barred from divorcing his wife (assuming they are still married) and remarrying another lucky gal while he is incarcerated. He can divorce and re-marry repeatedly and without penalty or having to answer questions or defend his right to marry or have to uphold any moral standard that is written in any religious book or on any bathroom wall in any truck stop.

He has that right…because he is heterosexual.

One Man + One Woman = One Bathtub Full of Feces

Let’s ring in the new year with a story like many I’ve posted before that never seem to stop being told. This one has it all – “traditional” gawd-approved reproductive coupling (penis into vagina) where the parents did NOT share an address, a drunken mother, an abusive father, and of course: feces feces feces!

I guess I didn’t read the chapter in the Holy Babble about how children should be raised, neglected and abused exclusively by heterosexual parents and used by religious zealots as a political ploy to deprive equal protections to non-heterosexuals.

Pardon the digression.

A woman living in Kelso, WA had her two children – aged 2 and 7 – taken from her by authorities last weekend after the father reported deplorable living conditions to the police.

Poop House

Danny Wannamaker told police that “…his children, one boy and one girl, were living in filthy conditions at the home and that their mother was intoxicated.”

Coincidentally (I’m sure) Mr. Wannamaker had been visiting earlier that day and had an argument with the mother of his precious diamonds resulting in him punching her in face:

“When officers arrived, they contacted the mother, whom they described as “obviously intoxicated.” She also had a large bruise on her left eyebrow, and said it came from being assaulted by Wannamaker earlier that day, according to the Kelso police report.”

The battering is only part of the story. In addition to the violence and alcohol abuse the children were also exposed to feces. An incredible amount of feces.

Fox12 in Oregon reports the officer on the scene as saying: “In the hallway, there was feces tracked everywhere to include the kitchen,” she wrote. “I opened the bathroom door and was so sickened by what I saw. There was days, perhaps weeks, worth of feces in the bathtub.”

Weeks worth of feces!!

In a report from KOMO News, a neighbor makes the situation sound even WORSE: “’When you have feces running all over the house basically, and the kids running around in that, that’s pretty disgusting,’ said neighbor Shawna Spear.”

Human waste RUNNING through the house??

If this is what goes on in western Washington State I can understand why Republican politicians in eastern Washington State are considering a way to divide the state in two.

According to Time Magazine, residents of rural Washington are bitter at their political powerlessness following the election last fall when same-sex marriage was legally approved by a majority of voters. The day following the election hundreds of same-sex couples applied for marriage licenses in King County (Seattle area) while no gay couples sought a license in Stevens County.

According to supremacist Republican State Senator Bob Morton, “That’s a good illustration of the difference in our philosophy and our basic beliefs.”

VALUES!!

Sen Morton doesn’t like the idea of having to recognize the relationships of same-sex couples presumably because he prefers opposite sex couples yet the Penis/Vagina Feces Family of Kelso live in the WESTERN part of Washington State.

It’s not easy to be opposed to recognition of same-sex marriage. Imagine how much easier it would be if the Feces Family of Kelso was an LGBT family, yet that rarely is the case.

The argument to divide Washington State (let alone the United States) would make much more sense if it weren’t for the fact that the vast majority of families that experience abuse, neglect, tradition busting divorce / re-marriage (or no marriage at all) and bathtubs full of shit are the result of heterosexual irresponsibility.

 

CW Nevius – columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle – has an integrity problem

TWO TIMES this week SF Chronicle columnist CW Nevius has published information that is either in conflict with facts or with statements he previously made.

On Thursday, August 16, 2012 Mr. NevANUS wrote a column about a growing controversy in the tightly knit Catholic LGBT community residing in the Castro neighborhood – the predominantly gay district of San Francisco.

CW NevANUS

In that column Nevius cites an event that never occurred as an example of outrageous queer behavior happening inside a Catholic Church:

It should also be said that some of the gay groups that have been using the hall have gone way over the top. Several years ago the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence featured a drag queen known as Peaches Christ, who waved a crucifix shaped like a dildo. Even longtime gay parishioners thought that was too much.

Not only did that never happen but Nevius says that there are LONGTIME GAY PARISHIONERS that were offended by this fictitious event.

This ridiculous fabrication is published a time when the Catholic Church has hired a political activist as Archbishop of San Francisco who doesn’t hesitate in expressing his desire to manipulate his followers into demonizing and marginalizing a minority group simply to bolster his own power.

The inflammatory lie promoted by CW Nevius was “corrected” in the SF Chronicle the next day and was also addressed by the author in a blog post at the Chronicle website (http://www.sfgate.com/).

But did Mr. NevANUS apologize for the dissemination of an outrageous and damaging misstatement of truth? Did he explain that he should have verified his sources or should have offered his readers and the general public an explanation of who he spoke with or perhaps identify who the “longtime gay parishioners” were that he claims were offended?

NO.

He did nothing of the sort. In fact, he made a joke of the entire fiasco.

A bona-fide direct descendant of Jesus

Then in his column published today, Saturday, August 18, CW Nevius took the maligned (yet democratically elected) Sheriff of San Francisco to task for “avoiding responsibility” and “dodging charges” made against him.

Hilarious, right?

The only problem is that FIVE months ago, Mr. Nevius had a completely different take on the persecution of the Sheriff.

Here is an email I sent today to Mr. Nevius about the contradictory statements he has made about Sheriff Ross Mirkarimi:

Mr. Nevius –

How do you explain the sentiment expressed in your column dated Saturday, August 18:

“There was a time, when this started, when Mirkarimi could have stood up, taken complete responsibility for a serious lapse and announced he was getting help. He might have kept his job. Instead, he’s done all he could to dodge the charges and avoid responsibility. If he loses his job, it is because he brought it on himself.”

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/nevius/article/Can-supes-muster-9-anti-Mirkarimi-votes-3797307.php#ixzz23vWiexj4

with the sentiment expressed in your column from Thursday, March 15:

“And come on, do you really think Mirkarimi’s former colleagues want to grill him at the Board of Supervisors? That’s a no-win. He’s already said he is guilty; the rest is just piling on.”

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/nevius/article/What-s-the-point-in-removing-lame-duck-Mirkarimi-3408231.php#ixzz23vXbXFQK

Which is it – has he dodged charges and responsibility or has he already admitted guilt and is being exploited?

Has his admission of guilt faded from your memory?

Perhaps you heard from many anonymous (and fictional) LGBT Catholics living in the Castro neighborhood that Mr. Mirkarimi performed at the Moist Hole Redeemer Church waving a dildo/crucifix around and declaring his innocence.

Are you capable of discerning fact from fiction? http://www.sfgate.com/default/article/Corrections-Aug-16-3794876.php

Sincerely

Patrick Connors
Twitter: Uppityfag

This Year’s LGBT Oscar theme: Another Dead Fag (again)

Since few major films with queer subject matter are in competition in this year’s Academy Awards ceremony, there is not much to be excited about for LGBT Americans tomorrow night.

No Oscars for Smart Queers

Sure there were a few notable roles and/or moments (and maybe even entire films) distributed during last fall’s Oscar bait season that contained queer content. Many of those films were either tiny independent films that would never be nominated (Weekend) or were really terrible for a number of reasons (J. Edgar) and were ignored by the Academy or they actually were nominated but perpetuate the American film tradition requiring LGBT characters to die making them less than thrilling for the queer audience member.

A word of warning:  FIVE films are about to be discussed and there will be NO caution about revealing parts of those films. If you haven’t seen these films and you intend to and you are deeply sensitive about having advance knowledge of a film then you should stop right now and go play outside. Also the bolded titles here contain links to trailers for each film.

Better yet, go see the fucking movies because they have been out for months.

Christopher Plummer is guaranteed an award tomorrow night for his portrayal of an elderly man that decides to celebrate his queer identity late in life in the film Beginners. Anyone that criticizes this film or the acting would have to be a cold, heartless bastard and/or an irreversibly bitter cynic. Beginners is sweet, sentimental, kinda boring, and inoffensive. As an actor, Plummer is extremely old (82 years old) and deserves another award just for continuing to have a pulse. The bottom line here is that Plummer plays a gay man that lived his life selfishly and closeted and when he makes the decision to embrace his queerness he is diagnosed with cancer and dies.

Another dead fag (ADF).

Beginners is harmless and we all kinda expect old people to die so the film doesn’t exactly inspire great resentment. Actually, Plummer’s character got off easy compared to a few queer women characters portrayed in other Academy Award nominated performances.

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and Albert Nobbs have a few nominations each and have leading women characters who experience varying amounts of same-sex desire. Both Glenn Close (Nobbs) and Rooney Mara (Tattoo) are nominated for Best Actress in a Leading Role for their portrayals of women that have faced challenges and end up transformed. Both characters are also viciously raped by men – Mara’s character’s rape is depicted during the film and it is HIGHLY unpleasant.

Close plays a woman that adopts a male identity to protect herself following a rape as a teenager. She is so determined to remain in this identity that she has permanently assumed the name Albert Nobbs and distances herself from her female persona. During the film she meets another woman (played by Janet McTeer – also nominated) that has adopted a male identity – without being raped this time – who has found true love and shares a home with a woman. Those two women were even married as husband and wife. Albert begins to believe that kind of happiness may be possible for him too. The moment of hope is almost enough to cause a tear in the eye of the cynical viewer.

Almost.

Bloody ear = dead

In the last act of the film McTeer’s wife dies of flu and before you know it Albert gets into a fist fight has his head slammed into a wall which causes him to have blood trickle from his ear which is a total give away. Within five minutes Nobbs is dead.

ADF – actually two queer women die in Albert Nobbs.

Mara’s character in Tattoo does manage to live at the end of the film (shocking, eh?), but her amount of queerness is pretty low – definitely not a fatal dose. Following her rape she dates women and cuts her hair funny and pierces her body and gets geeky on laptops – a real tom boy. Not very girly at all. Edgy! Then she meets Daniel Craig’s character. After a few scenes together it’s clear that their genitals were REALLY JUICY for each other and they start to fuck fuck fuck. Mara’s character isn’t dating girls anymore!! She had the scarred dyke fucked right out of her! Penises can be so magical, can’t they? If they are, you’d have a hard time convincing J. Edgar Hoover of it.

Do not spend much time fussing over the film J. Edgar. The Academy sure didn’t. The film was directed by Clint Eastwood, written by previous Oscar winner (and major Hollywood homo) Dustin Lance Black and stars Leonardo DiCaprio. It has the scent of Oscar all over it yet it really sucks. Hoover was portrayed as a mama’s boy, raised without a father figure, that was awkward around women and he cried every time he had to touch his penis. DiCaprio’s character was the only person in the world – man or woman – that would have been conflicted about making his life long companion (played by the blonde bombshell Arnie Hammer) ejaculate repeatedly.

It seems that the audience is supposed to assume that J. Edgar Hoover was a fudge packer because he was quirky.

Calling Mr. Hoover!

Black and Eastwood presented a pathetically character for whom we were supposed to feel sympathy for and completely ignored the years Hoover spent harassing and intimidating his fellow American queers. The character of J. Edgar Hoover seems just as conflicted and riddled with sexual stereotypes and homophobia as the director of the film.

Also – Hoover dies at the end of the film. Even if J. Edgar is a shitty biopic it still counts as ADF.

Finally, a film that contains only a moment of queerness (a moment that raised my hackles) amid a resounding avalanche of hetero fucking that is my FAVORITE film of the year: Shame.

Anyone that says this film is about a sex addict is just being lazy or they are avoiding doing work in therapy. Brandon, the lead character played by a gorgeous and soulful yet soulless Michael Fassbender (who would have been nominated if this wasn’t a X rated film) has some demons. Those demons are readily apparent when his sister, played by Carey Mulligan, crashes at his place. Brandon’s drama spirals out of control until he hits bottom in a pivotal scene late in the film. After getting himself into trouble instead of getting himself off he roams the streets desperate for a sexual fix – something to help keep him from looking at what motives his behavior.

Brandon finds his fix at an unmarked club in a poorly lit, seedy part of town, in a room filled with men. The men are gyrating with each other wearing flannel and leather and all of them have mustaches. The audience in the movie theater can practically smell the santorum in the air. Brandon finds a man that quickly drops to his knees to orally draw out a batch of sperm from the apparently never ending lake of semen that is stored in Brandon’s scrotum.

We don’t see Brandon reciprocate. We don’t even know how long he stays at the club. All we know is that this marks the moment when our pussy pirate Hetero Hero Brandon has obviously crossed the line into pure desperation. How else could one explain the fact that Brandon debased himself by entering a gay sex club and ejaculating into a man’s mouth? The scene was an intentional nod to an audience that might have a hard time looking at a line that most heterosexual people could not, would not, and should not cross (if they want to maintain their heterosexual cred).

Because director Steve (he’s gay!) McQueen chose to put Brandon and the audience through that experience the egregiousness of the stereotype ploy adds to the gravity of the film.

Michael Fassbender kisses Steve McQueen

Shame may not be a typical example of an LGBT film and that scene isn’t going to become a moment of Gay Pride for all queers to rally around but hopefully the film is a sign of new life in queer film. No more soppy sentiment tainted by death and violence and instead may we be treated to more intelligent explorations of the world we struggle to find peace in.

The Academy ignored Shame and Michael Fassbender while honoring material that feels safe and simple. No surprises there.

Follow my LiveTweet of the Oscars telecast beginning sometime Sunday afternoon and lasting until I can’t stand Tweeting anymore at @Uppityfag

Frankie and Kayla Almuina from AZ are arrested after posting pics of their superior heterosexual parenting skills

New Years Eve trivia question: Which Arizona parents received duct tape for Christmas this year?

If your answer was Frankie and Kayla Almuina you were absolutely right.

Taped her child's hands and mouths shut! Merry Christmas

The couple were so eager to share their duct tape joy after Christmas that they grabbed their two kids, bound their hands with tape, took pictures of them, and then posted the pics on Facebook!

It really is the most wonderful time of the year, ain’t it?

“(The children’s) mouths were taped shut, and one of the children was hung upside down by some exercise equipment, according to the Coconino County Sheriff’s Office.”

One child is 2 years old, the other is 10 months old.

Unfortunately for Frankie and Kayla, the police were tipped off to the photos and arrested the couple, charging them with suspicion of child abuse.

Some people just can’t take a damn joke. The Almuina’s were only joking, for Christ’s sake. It was A JOKE!

The Almuina’s are real jokers…as are the majority of voters of Arizona.

Hung one of his kids upside down and took a picture!

In 2008, 56% of the voters passed a state constitutional amendment to discriminate against same-sex couples. “Arizonans understand that marriage is much more than a legal arrangement between two people – marriage has an impact on the entire society.”

Heterosexual couples in Arizona need to codify their supremacy over same-sex couples because they need to preserve their right to duct tape their children, hang them upside down, and post the pictures for all the world to see. That is their gawd given right. That kind of privilege should not be shared with same-sex couples.It’s simply not what gawd wants.

One man. One woman. Two kids. Duct tape. It’s simple and clear.

Filthy Forsyth, GA family keeps a dead ‘possum in the house and a dead teen in the yard

Robert and Laura Lancaster decided to enjoy a weekend at St. Simons, Georgia (a resort community) leaving their teenage son at home to fend for himself.

Likes dead opossums

Their son is 14-years-old. What could go wrong? The couple already raised two other children that are away at college. They know what they are doing…besides they are a legally married, heterosexual couple from the south.  Southern Americans know the proper way to live and raise a family.

We should all follow their example. Don’t you think?

Not entirely. 

The Lancasters were arrested and charged with 2nd degree child cruelty following an investigation into the death of 15-year-old Trey Spencer. 

 Trey’s body was found in the Lancaster family’s backyard following a night of partying with the Lancaster’s 14-year-old son while Robert and Laura were out of town.

“The 14-year-old told investigators they (he and Trey) smoked pot, drank bourbon, ingested prescription medication and huffed dust cleaner the night before he died..”

Mildew queen of Forsyth, GA

Dust cleaner? What the hell is dust cleaner? Pledge? Endust? Clearly the Lancasters were not paying attention to their son’s recreational activities.

Come to think of it, that might be the explanation. Robert and Laura aren’t being charged in relation to the death of Trey Spencer. They were locked up because of the conditions of their home.

Sheriff’s deputies discovered piles of feces, rotting food and dirty clothes inside the house. The walls were covered with mildew and mold and the air was thick with insects. Furthermore, a decaying opossum was being kept inside.

Sounds awful, but that is what the voters in Georgia believe is the Biblical traditional view of marriage. 

The voters in the great state of Georgia decided resoundingly in 2004 that they had no interest in any form of recognition for same-sex couples. The Lancasters might have been ambivalent about the living conditions of their son, but that is their right as a heterosexual couple with the seal of approval in the state of Georgia.

Christian, gawd fearing, supremacists in Georgia were concerned that if the gays were allowed to marry children might not be raised in homes that store rotting animal carcases or leave children alone for weekends to huff furniture polish.

Long live traditional marriage!